Mending Fences and Building Bridges

Despite tight finances and a worrisome, but controlled, sickness in the family, life is pretty good right now. My partner and I are newlyweds. We've been fortunate enough to not only dream about plans. We are able to see some coming to fruition. Hank finishes his degree next month. I am finally, seriously writing a book. Together, we bought a vehicle large enough for "family" vacations with the dogs, and we each see the future with a bit more peace of mind, if not growing sense of adventure.

On a more individual level, I spent much time in reflection over the past couple of months. Reflecting on my relationships, personal and professional. Reflecting on what I consider to be the most important things and more importantly how to give those things their priority.  In short, I've been exploring my life philosophies. And, in the end, I'm pleased with most of what's been explored.

In "shaking the fences," I found some areas that need my attention; these areas are not so much in disrepair as needing some shoring up. And to borrow an old, religious term: I want to name it and claim it, instead of faking it until I make it.



Professionally, I could not be much happier with my current place and state of affairs. I work for a phenomenal organization, with tremendously talented coworkers, and serve a population of adult learners in great need. But, I haven't always communicated my gratefulness. For some situations and with some people, I allowed ego to let differences of philosophy and opinion overrule common sense and direct communication. These haven't been so much right-vs-wrong situations. They are simply peace of mind and peace in the workplace situations. I need to build a couple of bridges instead of shouting across the divide. And, fortunately, I feel that the has started and will be incredibly fulfilling.

Personally, my marriage shook a few sleeping dogs awake. Certain close family members voiced negative opinions, which my partner and I considered long past. Along the same time, my youngest brother became very ill, leading to even greater stress within the family. Simply being able to go and see our families might fix some of the situations, but Hank and I live several hundred miles away from either side of the family. As such, the stars must align for us to head home. In the meantime, I do feel that those very close relationships remain in a strained stasis.

Another of my more recent life developments appears to have caused some unspoken tension between some of the people I cherish most in the world and me. My coming out as a Humanist/Freethinker/Etc rocked several people. Though 99.9% said nothing to me at all, their sudden lack of communication or meaningful interactions spoke volumes. I admit to coming out by kicking the door open and doing a bit of "trolling." I still don't apologize for my beliefs, but I do apologize, if the way I communicated my beliefs offended anyone. I hold no ill will toward people of faith. I actually cherish the memories of many faithful people and spiritual experiences. I would not be who I am today without that.

After 31 years, I've come to embrace being a somewhat bi-polar Gemini with the scathing bluntness of a former Marine and too little padding on my shoulders between my truest feelings and public view. My deepest hope is that others realize that I am also doggedly dedicated to my partner, my family, my students, my co-workers, and my community in general. If I offend, I do so out of passion for rightness and not a belligerent desire to be "right." I love who I am. I love who those in my life are. Right now, my focus is mending those fences, building those bridges, and continuing to grow the beautiful life blossoming before my eyes.